Valentine’s Day, a celebration of love, has transcended traditional meet-cutes and found a new home in the digital world. As we exchange heartfelt messages, send virtual gifts, and plan romantic online dates, it’s crucial to prioritize security — online and in person — in the relationships we form digitally.

1. Review the Privacy Settings on Your Social Media Accounts

Be mindful of the information that you share publicly, especially when it comes to your personal safety. Reconsider shaing your relationship status, location, and personal details publicly. Restricting access to your profiles helps minimize the risk of identity theft and unwanted attention.

2. Verify Their Identity

Be an amateur detective when forming a closer relationship with a person you met on social media or via a dating site. Google them and compare what you find online with what they tell you. Use reverse image search to determine if the pictures on their site or that they send to you are actually taken from another website or profile. Use reverse phone lookup to confirm the personal details associated with the number you’ve been given.

3. Keep An Eye Out for Catfishing Red Flags

Catfishing is real, and the reasons for faking a persona can range from wanting to attract attention, to performing a long con on a target for criminal purposes. Here are some behaviors that should set alarm bells ringing.

• Reluctance to Share: The person is hesitant about sharing basic personal details, such as their real name or what they do for a living.
• Inconsistent Stories: Liars have a hard time keeping their stories straight and knowing details that match their stories.
• Limited or No Social Media Presence: After they accept you as a follower/friend, they have little or no social media profile, especially a lack of photos or having only recent posts.
• Too Good to Be True: The person appears too perfect or their life seems like a fairy tale. Their gorgeous photos seem professional or posed.
• Unwillingness to Meet in Person: The person is hesitant to meet face-to-face or makes excuses to avoid meeting in person.
• Limited Availability for Video Chats: The person only wants to chat via IM or email and consistently avoids video calls (or even phone calls).
• Strange Comments and Conversation Topics: The person gets too personal, too quickly or makes inappropriate jokes or conversation.

4. Meet in Person in a Public Place

It feels like you can really get to know someone through deep online conversations or long phone calls. But the reality is that a genuine understanding of a person only emerges when you interact with them face-to-face. People can use fake or edited pictures or lie about any aspect of their life. Even when a person is being honest, they will naturally present their best selves online, obscuring other aspects of their personality.

Therefore, it’s crucial to create occasions to get to know this individual beyond the digital realm. Whether it involves meeting up at a nearby coffee shop or attending a fun-filled baseball game, seek opportunities for in-person interactions. But make sure it’s in a public place and that you have a reliable mode of transportation home to guarantee your safety. Don’t let someone you’ve just met in person for the first time or two drive you home or meet you someplace secluded.

5. Beware of Sextortion

Sextortion is a form of blackmail using a victim’s sexually suggestive pictures or messages. These criminals can get material to extort you via the long con (convincing you to send them a naked picture or explicit message), via theft (such as trawling through your social media or hacking your device), or by eavesdropping (surreptitiously recording your conversations or video sessions).

Once they have incriminating explicit materials, these criminals then threaten to release the material to the public, your workplace, or your friends and family unless their demands are met. These demands can be financial or forcing you to perform an action (sexual or otherwise) against your will. Sextortion is serious and, while punishable by prison and thousands of dollars in fines, is on the rise. Take steps to protect yourself.

• Don’t send pictures to someone you just starting dating. You should be cautious about sending explicit material even to a long-term partner you know in person. Revenge porn after a breakup is too common.
• Be cautious about recording. Someone can be recording your conversations or web sessions without your knowledge. Having a camera aimed at their screen or recording with their phone is common in sextortion. Make sure you can see their full space – not just a close-up of their face.
• Take action immediately upon a sextortion threat.
  • Stop all communication.
  • Don’t give in to their demands.
  • Report and block them to the social media company and block their profile.
  • If sensitive information has already been shared, report it — most sites have strict rules against sharing intimate content without consent.
  • Save the evidence. Keep a record of all conversations and take screenshots of threats and messages. The more evidence, the better.
  • Report sextortion to the authorities.

Have a Safe and Happy Valentine’s Day

This Valentine’s Day, celebrate love while also prioritizing your security. Remember to trust your instincts and ensure your safety. By implementing these and other cybersecurity best practices, you can create a cyber-secure environment for your romantic adventures.

-- By Haree Lim, Pitt IT Student Blogger